March 23, 2023


OK Boomer

OK Boomer
Photo: Getty Images

Boomer Esiason saying “there’s a douchiness” to Mac Jones’ facial expressions is like Cristiano Ronaldo calling someone a narcissist, Kobe Bryant telling a teammate they’re a ball hog, or Mike Ditka criticizing a coach for being too abrasive. The only correct response is, “MF’er, what did you just say?”

If there was one singular vibe that Esiason gives off, it’s douchey. And, to be quite honest, if that’s the only word Boomer could conjure up to describe Jones, he should get a better vocabulary. (I realize that’s contradictory, but he said it first, so in turn, I can lob it back at him. It’s in the handbook.)

Like myself, though, Boomer is a part of the media, and there are a million better ways to make fun of Mac. Any idiot frat boy can call someone “D-bag.”

Here’s Esiason’s full comment that was made on Boston’s WEEI.

“Here’s the thing that I really dislike about Mac Jones if you want to get to the root of it. His body language, his facial expressions, his gyrations on the field — piss me off. There’s a douchiness to them. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

Well, maybe try harder to explain it. Put some effort into it. If you want to knock Jones’ body language, give some imagery. For example, “Mac Jones carries himself like Tom Brady three seasons removed from Bill Belichick.” That puts a whiny and tantrum-prone face to the comment, and it’s actually funny.

And coincidentally enough, Brady was exactly the quarterback Esiason used as an example later in the soundbite. If Jones’ in-game theatrics are similar to his predecessor’s recent outrage — sans the on-field accolades — lead with that.

The last thing you want to do is start hurling insults that could easily boomerang back to you. (And, no, that wasn’t an intentional pun.) You want to say there’s a “douchiness” to someone’s actions? Maybe don’t have an easily searchable Zubaz pants ad with John Elway floating around the internet. Or really, any picture of Esiason in the ’80s.

There are few things Scott Van Pelt loves more than former Maryland Terrapins, and if you can get him to tell you to go fuck yourself, you’ve really carved out a foothold in the hall of blowhards.

For the record, I’m not defending Jones. Until this season, he’s had nothing but an Ivy League education in quarterbacking — understudy at Alabama to national champion, goes to New England with longtime offensive coordinator in place. He’s the shining example of nurture versus nature.

However, I’d be melting down, too, if all of the sudden Belichick pulled a “Trading Places” on me, and I went from the NFL’s best infrastructure to Matt Patricia calling plays for the first (and last) time in his career.

Esiason makes 15,000 more annoying faces in the hour and a half of pregame than Jones does in four hours of an actual game, and the only reason nobody calls Boomer a douche is because few people routinely watch CBS, and those who do don’t know how to use the internet.





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